Foot massages in the cowshed

22 Sep

Right. I like my feet. They are fine. They serve me well.

I also like giving massages.

Growing up, massages were our currency. “I will cook dinner for a five minuter”. Or, I will endure your chick-flick/action-man/awful film for a good shoulder rub. The tradition lives on, and now my husband and I enjoy almost daily massages in front of the TV (I get extra long ones when I ‘watch’ football). Everyone’s a winner right?

That is until someone utters the words…

“Please can I have a foot massage?”

My instant reaction is to pull an unattractive face and scarper. If I love you –  then you may get one on the following condition –

socks stay ON.

If I REALLY love you, then you will get your fully fledged foot massage and I will suppress my grimaces. To me, that is real love.

Before you accuse me of double standards, I don’t even like massaging my own feet, so on principle, I don’t inflict my feet on another. Therefore, do not worry friends, you won’t find me knocking at your door requesting a foot rub anytime soon.

That of course, comes with one exception.

You let me pay you.

My lovely brother & sister in-law bought me a pedicure for my birthday. Not just a simple 15 minute get-your-nails-looking-shiney one, but a whole hour of scraping, exfoliating and massaging.

So last night, off I trundled to the very chic (albeit oddly named) Cowshed spa in Soho to meet the poor therapist assigned to spend the next hour tending to my runners/walkers/heal-wearer feet.

It was delicious. She did her thing, whilst I felt like a princess on a fluffy white throne reading shiny magazines. Although, I must mention a slightly awkward moment in which she asked whether I minded having my ‘feet drilled’.

Not wanting to seem out of touch with the pedicure world (of which I am – very) I nodded. After a fearing i’d been lured to a dentist under false pretenses, I discovered that a ‘foot drill’ is an electric foot sander. Nice.

So there I was, reclined in my blissful state, playing this little loop over and over in my head. It went like this:

1- I feel so sorry for her.
2- No! This is her job
3- Yeah but my feet aren’t nice
4- She is getting PAID
5- Yeah she’s seen worse
6- Eugh like that woman next to me
7- So relax and enjoy
(Insert a few minutes of pure relaxation – interspersed with feigning the desire to jump out of the chair due to ticklishness).

And repeat 1-7.

So after an hour of relaxing/reasoning with myself, I left. The owner of the smoothest, pampered and prettiest feet in London.

Massage-able, touchable feet.

So husband, if you’re reading this. I’d like a foot massage tonight please. And before you start getting ideas about reciprocation –  in return – i’ll make you dinner.


10 Responses to “Foot massages in the cowshed”

  1. midnitechef September 22, 2010 at 5:21 pm #

    I’ve never had a pedicure and I’ve been contemplating one for my 30th birthday (as a very strong suggestion to hubby). Maybe it will be fun 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts 😛

    • Anna and Her Biro September 23, 2010 at 1:04 pm #

      Do it do it!! Or, you could do one of those 2for1 spa days and get him involved too. Have a look at!

  2. Slamdunk September 22, 2010 at 6:38 pm #

    Too funny. Glad you got yours, but the smell of my feet socks or not will make paint fall off the wall–no chance for me.

    • Anna and Her Biro September 23, 2010 at 1:03 pm #

      Hahaha. I’m glad you liked my post. I hope to make people smile!

  3. jo September 22, 2010 at 9:31 pm #

    i absolutely hate feet so i would buy hundreds of pedicures before i touch some one else’s feet. im glad you enjoyed it

  4. hezaire September 23, 2010 at 12:06 pm #

    sooo funny! my boyfriend and i are the same way- massages galore but absolutely no feet. i get pedicures pretty frequently, but he has scary hobbit feet (and a foot phobia of sorts), so it’s a no go. glad you liked your spa day!

    • Anna and Her Biro September 23, 2010 at 1:02 pm #

      Thanks for your message. Ah I think I need pedicures more often – you are very lucky to have them frequently. Bet you don’t feel so sorry for the therapist! Eww hairy hobbit feet….

  5. ashleybee September 27, 2010 at 3:38 am #

    Hahaha, this was very enjoyable to read.

  6. Catherine October 3, 2010 at 11:14 pm #

    Love this! I also am obsessed with a good, professional foot massage. I used to get pedicures almost weekly in high school, when I could afford it because of a ridiculously high paying job. I haven’t had one in a few years, and I really miss it. BUT! There is one thing I simply can’t live without. Head massages when you get your hair done. My hair stylist does an amazing job of rubbing my head when she washes and conditions my hair. It’s like a little piece of heaven. The longer the massage, the better the tip I give her. LOL 🙂

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